Road Trip

My mom, my hubby, my 4-year-old son, Reynard and myself will be going on a road trip tomorrow, driving from Kota Kinabalu to Brunei, then on to Miri and Bintulu. The furthest trip I went by road is up to Beaufort, a small town on the interior West coast of Sabah. So this trip will a first for me all the way to Bintulu. I pray for good weather tomorrow and a safe journey. We're gonna spend Friday night in Brunei with my cousin and her children. Then move on to Miri Saturday morning. From Miri, my hubby's cousin will be driving down to Bintulu with us. Next day, it's back to Miri Airport to catch a flight back home. That's the plan. I hope everything goes well.

Here's a map of the route we're going to take:


Sorry, the map above is not very clear. Click here to get a better picture.
I'll post all about the trip when we get back on Sunday. Stay tuned!

Simply beautiful

To all the married couples out there, take a moment to read this beautiful email I received this morning. After that, just ponder about it for a while....

~When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I've got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!"

That night, we didn't talk to each other.. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now...

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce", she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.

Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; "Don't tell our son about the divorce." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown bigger." I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore."

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.. I smiled and wrote: 'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'. ~

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.


Simply a beautiful and touching story of love, it brought tears to my eyes. Reverse the roles and it applies to us wives as well. So let's appreciate with what we have rather than complain about what we don't. Take one day at a time...

Crash!

In her haste to cross the road, but underestimating the speed of the oncoming van, a pedestrian would've been in serious injuries or even lost her life. The oncoming van braked just in time to avoid hitting her. But, the vehicle about 2 car-lenghts behind the van was not that lucky. It rammed smack into the back of it. Fortunately, no one was hurt in that accident, a little dazed, maybe. And thank God the vehicles were not travelling at high speed. Otherwise, it would've caused a havoc...

My hubby was behind the wheels travelling behind the van when that happened yesterday...
I wasn't in the car with him, and Thank God that he did not get hurt and good thing he had the safety belt on.

Some people believe that some things happen for a reason. I'm one of those people. I haven't thought about what the reason might be to this accident. Perhaps through this mishap, God is trying to tell us to be thankful that we have each other, appreciate this life we are sharing, love the children we are raising. We don't usually celebrate our special days with a night out and dinner or something. So, I think there is a reason to celebrate today, because today is our 14th anniversary. Happy anniversary, honey, I love you!

It won't happen to me..... yeah, right!

Went to visit my Grand-aunt (sister of my late Grandpa) today, with my mom, my son and Paulina, mom's maid. I fondly call my Grand-aunt Nenek. Nenek had a stroke last Tuesday which left her unable to stand, unable to walk. She looked so frail. But at least she can still talk, even though not clearly, we can understand. She is 87 years old.

2 weeks ago, my husband's sister who is 40, had a mild form of stroke. She felt numb in the face and her hands swollen. The numbness had subsided, for now. She's taking extra precautions now and is on medications.

My husband's uncle is now battling advanced stage lung cancer. He is in his 60s.

A few years ago, my aunt's husband died from a cardiac failure. He was walking along the street when it happened so suddenly. He collapsed, and was gone before reaching the hospital. He was only in his early 40s.

My cousin who is very slender and petite discovered two years ago, after a company medical examination, that she has high cholesterol.

What I'm trying to say is that we cannot take things for granted, thinking like, "Oh, it won't happen to me...." It doesn't matter what's your age or what's your body size. I know that sooner or later, some kind of disease would 'attack' my body.

Better be taking good care of our bodies, exercise more, drink more water and eat healthy...

Monday Blues, Tuesday Greys

Everyone's heard of Monday blues, right? Well, for me, it's no big deal. In fact, I love Mondays! Yesterday was Monday, the traffic flow was smooth. It's very relaxing to drive yesterday... somehow there was less traffic, maybe because everyone has the "Monday Blues".....

Today, Tuesday, the traffic jam was really ridiculous! Crazy! Insane! Ughhh! Every short-cut that I know of was a No-Go! Where did all the cars come from all of a sudden!?? As usual, we start our journey from home at 8.00AM. Yesterday, I dropped my son off to play-school at 8.30AM. Today, moving out from home at the usual time, we only reached his school at 9.07AM.... Half an hour wasted... stupid traffic jam!

I hope tomorrow will be less hectic on the road.....

Lent

February 25, 2009, Ash Wednesday, is the start of Lent, a forty-day-long liturgical season of fasting and penance before Easter, in the Catholic calendar. The forty days represent the time Jesus spent in the desert, where according to the Bible, He endured temptaion by satan.

It's a time when we give up something, examining our lives through fasting and prayers. It's a time to be extra charitable, giving to the poor and those who are in need. We donate money, clothing, books and other basic necessities to the Church to give to those who are less privileged than most of us. To learn more about Lent, please click here.

During the Lenten season, Catholics are obliged to fast — to limit themselves to one full meal or two lighter meals — and abstain — refrain from eating meat — on certain days. So, it's a great time to be a vegetarian. In view of the world food price hikes, pork, beef, even chicken meat are getting more expensive nowadays. There are lots of delicious and healthy vegetarian dishes that we can learn to make for our family. Veggie lasagna, anyone?

Sing your heart out!

A friend of mine once told me that singing is good for your health and mind. I find that it does have a ring of truth in it.

Every Saturday at the yacht club, there's karaoke for the club members. I try to go there, whenever I'm free, with my friends for karaoke and just sing our hearts out, just having a good time. Most of my friends, like me, are parents of kids who goes sailing at the yacht club (leisurely and competitively).

I was feeling a little depresed last couple of days. So I went singing last night and it was a blast! All the "negative energy" went flying out of me. For me, singing is like expressing your feelings in a good way. Just having a great time with my best buddies...

So, sing your hearts out peeps!